T-minus six days...

In six days I leave this life that I've discovered in Edmonton, leave the girl I fall for a little more each day and hope for the best as I fly back into BC. The girl I'm with is flying back with me for a week and I'm bringing my cat with me as well. Some parts of Edmonton will come with me... but still, it feels a little off. I was just getting comfortable with this whole Edmonton thing, just starting to settle and I'm uprooting again, completely of my own choice.

I picked up my cat from my old apartment today, I just can't bear to leave him there any longer. Pretty much everytime I go down there, there's no food or water and the litter box is a mess. It worries me. It's much more comforting to watch him being chased around by my roommate's 5 month old kitten. Very cute.

What am I going to do when I get back to BC? I'm still trying to figure out what's going on at my school and I've given up emailing them since it wasn't producing results. However, I am going down there when I get back and whining at Christa until she tells me what's happening with me completeing classes.

Wish me luck...

Subversion is the key.
-K

Can't stay mad...

... when she looks at me, cuddles up to me. I'm frustrated and I try to stay angry but she snuggles up against me, nibbles at my neck. She's just so darn cute that I smile and laugh with her and everything's alright again.

And the sex is great...

Subversion is the key.
-K

My Sweet Love...

Had a fantastic night with my lady fair. Went to the library and learned tons about counterinsurgency while searching for books for a project she's working on. She didn't have time to head down before they closed, so I got to help out ^.^ I found her tons of resources and am quite pleased with what I picked out. She seems to be too.

Came to her house after going home to shower, shave and put on some make up, and had a great dinner - gotta love a woman who can cook AND work on cars - and a great time afterwards lol. I think it was some of the best sex we've had so far. I'm off this weekend and plan to fill my time with flea market hunting, clubbing and hopefully more mind-blowing sex ^.^

Subversion is the key.
-K

New look, New Year...

If anyone still reads this thing, you may have noticed a change in scenery. One can only handle the same layout for so long and this one got sick of that old layout. So, out with the old, in with the new. And the news.

I've been off citalopram for almost a month now. I'm struggling a little, trying to keep away that dark place that chased me into the land of pills, but for the most part am doing ok. That fact is mostly due to the support of an incredible new person in my life. When I moved to Edmonton, I kind of expected to date my girl and not get too close to anyone else. I knew I had to come back for school and I was scared to lose people. Instead, I found an amazing woman who's journey to get where she is inspires me every day.

I finally got a new camera, a Nikon D200. Not a brand new camera, not the highest in it's class, but a damned good camera as the case may be and I'm fairly impressed with it so far. I need to get out and do a good shoot with it, see how it compares to my old D60, and start saving for a D700. (Of course, by the time I've done that, there will be a newer, shinier version to purchase for twice the price and it will be passe.)

I'm losing weight - my favorite belt actually hangs on my hips again, and not even at the furthest hole, but instead, two in, and resting more comfortably than when it was at the last hole. I don't see a big differance when I look in the mirror, but my clothes whisper that I am indeed shrinking.

At the moment, no more news, because it's 4am and there is a beautiful woman sleeping in bed waiting for me to get sleepy and come cuddle her.

Subversion is the key...
-K

Misery made beautiful...

I'm nervous. I'm excited.
I'm a thousand things, and one of them...

...is disappointment.

She didn't fight for me.

She just let me go.

Let me walk into the dragon's lair

and have the great creature strip me bare,

tear me to pieces and leave me aching and wanting...

...more

I wander this night

Back to the dominance

That brings me peace.

And yet...

Why does the one I love treat it

With such...

Indifferance

Is it possible... that the young one

has already won her...

heart?

I can't think of it... I won't

And so the dragon I go

To forget...

to breath...

to live...

To feel her lash my flesh...

...and be reborn into peace

Organizing....

So I'm working on getting my blog organized into something that people might actually read. I'm going to be doing alot of fetish photography once I get my equipment replaced and I've been doing some neat bondage crafts that I'll post photos of. When my credit card is paid down, I'm going to register bondageandbodypaint.com for blog and personal photography purposes. Will set it up with a flash gallery for people to look at when they are reading my blog.

Then to get my business site set up - existentialphotographer.com

Wish me luck.

Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel.

Lost in this world...

I'm still discovering who I am here in Edmonton. It's been a difficult process, made no less difficult by my recent illness and my own insecurities.

Almost 2 years ago I got out of a particularily bad open relationship. Prior to that I'd been in a very successful open relationship that left me very comfortable with my own polyamorous-ness. It had been short lived but a good learning experience and the couple that I was dating was wonderful. Then I met D and had an explosively bad relationship that ended with him leaving me for the other person in our relationship. With how badly that went and how badly it ended, only a great deal of love for my current partner had me entering a relationship with her, because she's already seeing a trans-woman here in Edmonton. I knew that moving out here, but it's still hard for me to see her leave me for the night and go to her tgirl.

It was especially hard the time she left for two nights - that's what D did the night before he dumped me. I'm fighting hard against my own issues, I love her so much and I have to trust that she's going to come home to me, that she does love me back.

We've taken a young woman under our wing, a very cute 18 year old submissive that reminds me of me when I dated Katt and Wolfe. A few weeks ago we did a needle play scene with her that was very very hot. She can take ALOT of pain which is sexy as hell. I miss being able to take that kind of pain and I want to work on getting back to it.

I'm struggling with my job right now. Of six pay cheques, I've been shorted on 5 of them. It's very frustrating and I'm seeking new employment to try and deal with the money issues. I've never been paid more than 60 hours which I'm beginning to suspect is a 7-11 conspiracy against their employees.

I'm so lost in this dEdmonton world and I'm trying so hard to find myself, to find out what my path is...

Somebody please shine a light for me...
Help me see...

Love and Kisses
Andro Angel