I am proud because I have aquired a second, if temporary job, working as a secretary at a company that builds incredible homes. I am proud because my close friend is working a job that he loves and because he can walk taller at that job with the bind I gave him. I am proud of my friends that are deeply in love and planning to get engaged.
I am proud of myself for getting into my school of choice and not giving into the emotional pressure that begged me not to bother trying. I am proud of myself for being strong and standing up to the people that were hurting me, even if they turned against me in the end.
I am proud of the friends that have ignored the rumors and the lies and stood by me. I am proud of those who have showed they are true and ashamed that I was blinded by the false ones who so readily believe and spread hate about me.
I am tired of the prejudice against me because I spoke my mind against my roommate who sat around like a lump in my home for next to no rent, not working, not cleaning up after anything unless I got angry at her, while I worked so she could eat, so we had electricity and internet (which she used guiltlessly). I am tired of people thinking that I mistreated her when I, at the suggestion of a "friend" asked her to leave my home. I was wrong in telling her to get out before the end of the weekend, but she was abusing my trust and my home and I corrected my misdeeds by allowing her as long as she needed (which turned out to be nearly three months) to get her things out of my apartment.
I am tired of being judged on my mistakes and not the good deeds that I try to do. I am tired of having to keep my mouth shut when people start to badmouth my friends because I'm so worried about telling them that they are wrong, because my honesty has been my undoing.
I try to remember the good in my life. I have three people that I am seeing, not dating, just spending good playful time with, I am due to attend an amazing school in March to further my career in photography, and I will be capable of paying for the rest of my body modifications before I return to school.
But the bad... the hatred and the whispers, the accusation that I ruined the relationship of my two friends because we are having fun together (all three of us, no exclusions), my so called childhood friend making me into a villian who mistreats her when I am simply calling her out on her own bad behavior... it seems so much bigger. And I am afraid because I don't know how much longer I can fight it off.
Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel
1 comment:
You are being honest, and that is the best thing you can do. I am proud of you for sticking up for yourself and doing what was right. You are not some frail young thing you are a womyn who deserves respect in your home, and when you where not being treated right you made sure to do right for your own good. I for one will not let people bad mouth you. Remember that when people attack you for being poly it's because they are jealous, and also remember that when people spread rumors it's because they haven't enough self respect to be happy with their own lives not to leave other peoples alone.
You are successful in life, and you deserve this school, and you deserve your good friends and to be treated well.
-Mike
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