Surprised...

So I spent the better part of Friday night on the phone with my ex. This would be D, the only person I've ever lived with and the very specific ex that I used to blog about frequently before starting up on Blogger. To understand why Friday was so unusual, one has to understand that for the last year since our break up, D and I have had an on again/off again friendship involving several spats and the most recent "not talking to each other" period of about six months, since he broke up with M and I learned to say no, in the process saying it far too much and upsetting him. While I desperately needed to grow a backbone, I chose a bad time to grow it and was far too firm with him, although sometimes he does need that.

Anyways, D and I are both damaged and it's left us very conflicted with each other. So when he called on Friday, I was expecting it to go badly. I know I've done a lot of growing these past months but what I didn't realize was that so has D, partly because my recent conversations with M before I stopped talking to him suggested otherwise. We had an awesome conversation, chatted for an hour while I was getting to work and probably another hour after I got there. It sounds like he's doing really well and I heard none of the "pity me" that M and others had warned me about. In fact, I'm really beginning to think that D is someone that I could like, someone I could have as a friend again. I'm hoping he feels the same. What we had is long gone and I can't be the man he needs, I've always known that. But I think we could build a friendship that is even stronger.

Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel