In Loving Memory

It’s early, quarter to six
And I’m up, oh ungodly hour
But enjoying the peace and quiet
Until a voice shatters the silence

“You’re up, thank god,
Now I have someone to talk to”
I turn, see him and crack a smile
Because we’re on good terms again

These past few years
Have been love and hate
Between two people too much alike
To ever live together

So I’ve been in and out
And he’s been good and bad
But through it all
We’ve been friends

I mocked them for their meeting
Trapped in the digital world
An online relationship
Those never work out

And yet they proved me wrong
As one date turned to two
One month turned to six
And I finally led them down the aisle

He got me through
Those harsh Dad-less years
When I couldn’t bear to see
The one who made me

He stood by my mother
Through the scare of the c word
And the joy of the r word
And he loved her as much as he was able

My E.D. my stonewall
The times we conspired
To bring a smile to her face
To watch her eyes light up

His secret smile when
Mum just wasn’t specific enough
“Jordan don’t move your tent”
Well he didn’t, did he?

I’m too cheerful in the mornings
It’s always driven him nuts
But today he seems to want that
He seems at peace with the world

And because of all these things
I’m still smiling when I say
“Well I was hoping for some peace”
And he smiles back, and laughs

If I’d known it would be the last smile
I would have photographed it
Cherished it, treasured it
I would have done more to remember

If I had only known that morning
What I know today
I would have hugged him
And told him how much I loved him

No matter what.