I was drifting. I was starting to draw within myself, pull away from all the people I loved and cared about. I don't know that I was doing it on purpose, but I was. And then I had to bring S to the hospital today. That brought me back. I'm back outside my own little world and realizing how shitty life would be without hym. Seeing hym so sick, even if it is most likely just a flu, terrified me. I love hym so much, I think that really hit home today. I've been so scared to tie myself down, to have a reason to not leave Vancouver, that I think I was unconciously trying to keep myself distant from the best reason of all.
I have an amazing partner who has not been getting nearly enough of my time, something that will swiftly be remedied. I'm going to head over to the hospital tomorrow to spend the evening with hym and talk to hym, let hym know I'm sorry I've been so spacey lately and that I didn't mean to pull away.
So many mistakes made, all the time. Sometimes I don't even understand myself.
Love and Kisses
Andro Angel
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