Do I?

I should hate you. You've betrayed me, hurt me, used me and yet... there is still a part of me that has hope, that believes that you are better than this. You have lost a lot of people and that same part feels bad for you. I am in no way the "most wronged" in this situation, only one of the wronged. One of so many.

You seemed so strong to me, so proud. I thought nothing could take you down and I loved that you could still have fun. And then things changed. You lost something of yourself and I watched as you slipped away from all the people who cared about you. We all tried and tried, but eventually... it was just too much and we had to let you go. And it was right about then that, for a short time, you woke up, you came back to us. For a few short weeks, we got to see you laugh. We knew that you were slowly returning to her, but that was ok. We thought there was a chance that this laughter might continue...

No such luck and you vanished again.

So when I saw you last week, I had to fight, with anger, with sadness, with regret. But most of all I had to fight with hope. Because that is the one that hurts us.

I want to hate you...
But do I?

Never.