I don't feel like I'm a part of myself anymore. I feel like school is stripping away something essential to my personal self. I can't seem to concentrate, my work is gradually slipping. I have teachers constantly shooting me down for standing up for something I believe in - I don't think I can stereotype people just to sell photographs.
I've been sick pretty much since I started school and I have to go in for blood tests today to try and find out what's going on. I have a feeling it's just everything that's happening in my life right now - I'm feeling so discouraged about my work - everyone's seems so much better than anything I've done and I'm beginning to feel as if I've been falsely encouraged to follow something that maybe I'm just no good at. What if this is a waste of time, waste of my parent's money and I'm just spending a year learning that I suck?
I want to believe that I'm just being dramatic, that I'm better than I think, that I need to trust myself... but I'm having a harder and harder time finding those arguments convincing.
Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel
