So I've discovered that NyQuil is evil. And it makes me kinda high. So no more NyQuil.
I decided out of the blue to get incredibly sick yesterday. I went from "a little woozy and not so great" to "omg the world inside my head is exploding". So, being the genius human being I am, I decided to ask for cold and flu meds. Temperature? Check. Nausea? Oh hell yes. Sore throat and congestion? Yup. Sounds like "cold or flu" to me. So, NyQuil in pill form it is. Here's the kicker. They package the NyQuil in little bubble packs of two. Because you're supposed to take two. Unless, like me, you don't take medication often, in which case, for future referance of all you "chemical haters" IGNORE THAT SECOND PILL. For the love of the Goddess, ignore that second pill.
Needless to say it went poorly. About a half an hour later the world started spinning. Best part of that was that for the life of me I couldn't figure out why the world was spinning until I remembered the NyQuil. That was... yeah... bad.
Sleeps now
Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Cradle of Filth and yet more exploits...
Warning... aaah never mind. You get the point.
Monday night I finally after many many years of loving them, got to see Cradle of Filth live at the Commodore Ballroom. For those of you out there who don't know this, I got into Cradle before I even knew who Marilyn Manson was and Dani Filth was my god long before the lovely Mr. Manson was. The openers were Septic Flesh and Satyricon (which my ex was triply pleased by because Satyricon is a Norwegian death metal band who's founder has the same last name as him. He has a lot of pride in his homeland.) who were super awesome. I liked Satyricon best - nothing beats synchronized headbanging (I kid you not, they had two people on one side of the lead singer going side to side and two on the other side doing circles, all in perfect time with each other. Was amazing.)
Unfortunately during Satyricon the mosh pit was shooting crowd surfers all over the place and one that went the other direction ended up coming back towards us. I had one hand on the rail, one arm around this little (super hot) emo chick, and though I managed to cover her and I tried to duck, he landed directly on my head. 200 lbs of guy landing on one's head is not particularly comfortable, especially when your neck is wretched to one side. I got what appears to be a mild case of whiplash, spent two days unable to see or hear properly out of my left side and a slight concussion. And thus I went from being right on the rail for the two openers, to standing on the very far side of the Commodore for Cradle of Filth, which was my only real reason for being there. It was fucking heartbreaking but I did get to see them, so while I didn't get to be right there staring up at Dani and the rest, I did get to be there and that has to be enough for me. (On a side note, my ex and S did look super hot that night which kinda made up for it)
Tuesday was my day with S, they had an appointment at 11, so my ex and I chatted and hung out and got S's computer debugged thanks to my Dad. Then my ex headed out and S and I went to Granville Island. I haven't been to Granville Island since I was almost sixteen, the day I started my period. That was a wonderful trip. This one was quite a bit more pleasant, we got to hit all sorts of neat little stores - I had forgotten they had the dragon store there and was quite stoked to go again after all these years. S made a mystery purchase and then we wandered into a few different little stores, checked out the toy stores that have their own building, where S purchased a smurf to represent me on their wall of smurfs, and then we decided we were done and headed out. We bussed back to S's house and relaxed for a bit, chatted and hung out. At this point my head was starting to hurt and the lovely concussion that I acquired on Monday night means that while I know S and I played - I remember being blindfolded and a few pretty good flogger hits, and I seem to dimly recall a meat tenderizer and some little electric thing that tickled more than anything, I don't remember anything super clearly. Other than that, I know we stopped because my head was swimming which meant I called enough a lot sooner than I would have normally.
We went for dinner at a really neat little place up on Davie, and then went to the show that my ex was performing at. Actually from now on I'm just going to say "D" for my ex. Sick of typing my ex, sounds derogatory. D performed earlier in the show and then my friend Artemis performed a little later. After Artemis performed, S and I headed out. We ended up grabbing Saw V from the movie store and snuggling on the bed while we watched that. We got half way through, before almost falling asleep so we gave up on the movie and crashed.
Was much goodness, even if I was very fuzzy of head for the end of Tuesday. I think I pulled off 'coherent' pretty well though. And I got to spend time with an awesome human being. Who could ask for more?
Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel
Monday night I finally after many many years of loving them, got to see Cradle of Filth live at the Commodore Ballroom. For those of you out there who don't know this, I got into Cradle before I even knew who Marilyn Manson was and Dani Filth was my god long before the lovely Mr. Manson was. The openers were Septic Flesh and Satyricon (which my ex was triply pleased by because Satyricon is a Norwegian death metal band who's founder has the same last name as him. He has a lot of pride in his homeland.) who were super awesome. I liked Satyricon best - nothing beats synchronized headbanging (I kid you not, they had two people on one side of the lead singer going side to side and two on the other side doing circles, all in perfect time with each other. Was amazing.)
Unfortunately during Satyricon the mosh pit was shooting crowd surfers all over the place and one that went the other direction ended up coming back towards us. I had one hand on the rail, one arm around this little (super hot) emo chick, and though I managed to cover her and I tried to duck, he landed directly on my head. 200 lbs of guy landing on one's head is not particularly comfortable, especially when your neck is wretched to one side. I got what appears to be a mild case of whiplash, spent two days unable to see or hear properly out of my left side and a slight concussion. And thus I went from being right on the rail for the two openers, to standing on the very far side of the Commodore for Cradle of Filth, which was my only real reason for being there. It was fucking heartbreaking but I did get to see them, so while I didn't get to be right there staring up at Dani and the rest, I did get to be there and that has to be enough for me. (On a side note, my ex and S did look super hot that night which kinda made up for it)
Tuesday was my day with S, they had an appointment at 11, so my ex and I chatted and hung out and got S's computer debugged thanks to my Dad. Then my ex headed out and S and I went to Granville Island. I haven't been to Granville Island since I was almost sixteen, the day I started my period. That was a wonderful trip. This one was quite a bit more pleasant, we got to hit all sorts of neat little stores - I had forgotten they had the dragon store there and was quite stoked to go again after all these years. S made a mystery purchase and then we wandered into a few different little stores, checked out the toy stores that have their own building, where S purchased a smurf to represent me on their wall of smurfs, and then we decided we were done and headed out. We bussed back to S's house and relaxed for a bit, chatted and hung out. At this point my head was starting to hurt and the lovely concussion that I acquired on Monday night means that while I know S and I played - I remember being blindfolded and a few pretty good flogger hits, and I seem to dimly recall a meat tenderizer and some little electric thing that tickled more than anything, I don't remember anything super clearly. Other than that, I know we stopped because my head was swimming which meant I called enough a lot sooner than I would have normally.
We went for dinner at a really neat little place up on Davie, and then went to the show that my ex was performing at. Actually from now on I'm just going to say "D" for my ex. Sick of typing my ex, sounds derogatory. D performed earlier in the show and then my friend Artemis performed a little later. After Artemis performed, S and I headed out. We ended up grabbing Saw V from the movie store and snuggling on the bed while we watched that. We got half way through, before almost falling asleep so we gave up on the movie and crashed.
Was much goodness, even if I was very fuzzy of head for the end of Tuesday. I think I pulled off 'coherent' pretty well though. And I got to spend time with an awesome human being. Who could ask for more?
Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel
Sunday, February 1, 2009
More Adventures...
WARNING: SAME AS BEFORE. NO MUM!
Yesterday was John's memorial. It was extremely rough and all the happy that I got during the piercing play dissipated. Was missing the floaty head, but I was doing ok. I got to talk to S afterwards and that was nice, as well as pick up my tuition cheque from the greyhound where my Dad had shipped it. Means I can drop it off and see Cradle tomorrow. Whoot!
On my way to the Greyhound, I got a call from S, suggesting I come out to Vancouver for visits, get all the blegh out of my system with friends. It was a good suggestion so I got home, changed and headed out. I had decided to bring the bondage book S wanted to see, simply because I figured I could leave it with them to figure out. I am very naive sometimes, lol.
I get there, we chat for a bit and I hand over the book, only to have S constantly picking it up, flicking through it and lamenting (while eying my ex and I suggestively) that they want to try some of the ties. My ex finally consents to this "torment" and ends up with both wrists tied, and before he knows it, he's strung up to the bed being caned, and then bent over the bed being flogged. Those are his details to share, so I won't go too much into it, but I was eying them from the couch, clutching a pillow and doing a fair bit of drooling over the flogger.
After they'd had some downtime, my ex is going through the book and itching to try to tie the dragonfly sleeve, which is a full arm behind the back bind. After way too many giggles as we sat at the coffee table trying to figure it out, S looking on in amusement, he finally got me tied into it, though it was a bit of trial and error. I have tendinitis in my shoulders so we were all a bit worried about tying too tight, but I think because I relaxed into it, it was completely painless, which is good, means I can probably go a bit tighter next time. My ex concluded his knot tying practice by presenting a flogger to S (probably good to mention at this point that while S left him strung to the bed so that they could check their internet stuffs, I mocked and teased him, just a little, from the couch, when he couldn't retaliate.)
So I got flogged, properly, for the first time in almost two years. The last time a flogger touched my skin with any level of intent was at a flogging workshop that Katt and Wolfe put on in their dungeon during a play party in 2007. I was stunt bottoming for people to practice on after the workshop. I took more this time than I would have before, which makes me all puffed up and proud of myself because I know that I didn't take as much as a lot of bottoms can, but for me, I did good. My back was quite warm and welted afterwards and after sitting and visiting a little while longer, S went to bed and my ex and I tossed ourselves out the door for a long walk and chat, both completely blissed out and constantly patting each other a little harder than necessary on the back.
So it seems this blog is finally getting to the goal I had for it, to share my exploits. It helps when one has exploits to share!
Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel
Yesterday was John's memorial. It was extremely rough and all the happy that I got during the piercing play dissipated. Was missing the floaty head, but I was doing ok. I got to talk to S afterwards and that was nice, as well as pick up my tuition cheque from the greyhound where my Dad had shipped it. Means I can drop it off and see Cradle tomorrow. Whoot!
On my way to the Greyhound, I got a call from S, suggesting I come out to Vancouver for visits, get all the blegh out of my system with friends. It was a good suggestion so I got home, changed and headed out. I had decided to bring the bondage book S wanted to see, simply because I figured I could leave it with them to figure out. I am very naive sometimes, lol.
I get there, we chat for a bit and I hand over the book, only to have S constantly picking it up, flicking through it and lamenting (while eying my ex and I suggestively) that they want to try some of the ties. My ex finally consents to this "torment" and ends up with both wrists tied, and before he knows it, he's strung up to the bed being caned, and then bent over the bed being flogged. Those are his details to share, so I won't go too much into it, but I was eying them from the couch, clutching a pillow and doing a fair bit of drooling over the flogger.
After they'd had some downtime, my ex is going through the book and itching to try to tie the dragonfly sleeve, which is a full arm behind the back bind. After way too many giggles as we sat at the coffee table trying to figure it out, S looking on in amusement, he finally got me tied into it, though it was a bit of trial and error. I have tendinitis in my shoulders so we were all a bit worried about tying too tight, but I think because I relaxed into it, it was completely painless, which is good, means I can probably go a bit tighter next time. My ex concluded his knot tying practice by presenting a flogger to S (probably good to mention at this point that while S left him strung to the bed so that they could check their internet stuffs, I mocked and teased him, just a little, from the couch, when he couldn't retaliate.)
So I got flogged, properly, for the first time in almost two years. The last time a flogger touched my skin with any level of intent was at a flogging workshop that Katt and Wolfe put on in their dungeon during a play party in 2007. I was stunt bottoming for people to practice on after the workshop. I took more this time than I would have before, which makes me all puffed up and proud of myself because I know that I didn't take as much as a lot of bottoms can, but for me, I did good. My back was quite warm and welted afterwards and after sitting and visiting a little while longer, S went to bed and my ex and I tossed ourselves out the door for a long walk and chat, both completely blissed out and constantly patting each other a little harder than necessary on the back.
So it seems this blog is finally getting to the goal I had for it, to share my exploits. It helps when one has exploits to share!
Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel
Friday, January 30, 2009
Dinner and shiny things...
WARNING: Content of this post is NOT pg. If you are a) under the age of eighteen or b) my mother please turn back now and protect your poor fragile minds. Thank you.
Aaanyways....
I have, over the past little while been cultivating a friendship with my ex's partner. My ex and I have reached a really good point where we can be friends again and he is with an incredible human being. I'm really happy for him and so proud to see how much he's grown. We both had a lot of growing to do when we were together and I think we've both come a long way. Moving on...
I have been getting to know his partner who just so happens to also be his top. A few days ago his partner who I'm going to simply dub "S" for the sake of not having to type "his partner" every other sentence, asked if I would like to come over Wednesday night so that they could cook me dinner. S happens to be a chef who works in a pretty top of the line kitchen. Like I'd say no to that kind of offer! Mmm... gourmet food. I agreed, since S has been quite adamant that I had to let them cook for me one day. Was NOT disappointed *drool* so freaking good. Cajun-ish style chicken w/ kous kous (is that how it's spelled) beans (some fancy kind that were actually half decent considoring I normally won't touch beans) with feta and some random saucey type things. Amazing! So tasty. My stomach is still orgasming from the joy of the yum.
We settled down to chat and listen to some music and really got to talk alot which was nice, got to learn alot about what makes S tick and the things that have formed who they are, and got to share alot about what makes me tick. Also got mauled by the attention whore cat, hehe.
The conversation comes around to S asking if I'd be interested in playing - not a board game folks, the kinky kind of play. Children and Mum abandon ship now if you haven't already - which is something I had previously expressed interest in. Of course, I forgot that I'd been chatting with S about how I wanted to try piercing play one day and lo and behold, what does S suggest...?
If you guessed peircing play, you win! If you didn't, you fail. Please leave. Heh.
Might I say peircing play... not a bad thing at all. I managed to sit through thirty needles, twenty in my arm - ten going down with one under each of those - and five on each side of the top part of my chest. I probably could have done more, but I tend to start to shake when the adrenaline kicks in and I think S was starting to get concerned. Shaking = not bad at all when it comes to me, but it does tend to worry Tops. Of course it didn't help that S kept smacking the pierced spots - hard - while the needles were still inserted. Needless to say, I have quite the aray of bruises. Twas much in the ways of fun. Especially when they started pulling the needles out - eek! I'm a bleeder, doesn't even matter if you do things like that gently and S wasn't being very gentle. Not that I minded. Got a few more whacks which had me completely blissed out. Holy woah. Took me forever to stop shaking and come down from outer space. I was gone, it was magnificent. It's been so long since I played that the needle play was about all I could do in one sitting, but I'm hoping for future play with S.
I think one of my favorite things is that S didn't treat me like I was going to break. Not every top, but a good chunk of them haven't been willing to take me to the edge and back, or they were more interested in sex than in s/m play which, to be honest, does it for me more than sex in alot of ways. I'm not as fragile as I look, and while S cheerfully tells me what a beautiful girl I am, how much they love how femmey I can be, how soft I am, they're also willing to push me, and they know I'm not going to break.
And when someone looks at you, completely clothed, with blood running down your arm and you still feel like the sexiest woman alive... well that's just a feeling that can't be replaced.
Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel.
Aaanyways....
I have, over the past little while been cultivating a friendship with my ex's partner. My ex and I have reached a really good point where we can be friends again and he is with an incredible human being. I'm really happy for him and so proud to see how much he's grown. We both had a lot of growing to do when we were together and I think we've both come a long way. Moving on...
I have been getting to know his partner who just so happens to also be his top. A few days ago his partner who I'm going to simply dub "S" for the sake of not having to type "his partner" every other sentence, asked if I would like to come over Wednesday night so that they could cook me dinner. S happens to be a chef who works in a pretty top of the line kitchen. Like I'd say no to that kind of offer! Mmm... gourmet food. I agreed, since S has been quite adamant that I had to let them cook for me one day. Was NOT disappointed *drool* so freaking good. Cajun-ish style chicken w/ kous kous (is that how it's spelled) beans (some fancy kind that were actually half decent considoring I normally won't touch beans) with feta and some random saucey type things. Amazing! So tasty. My stomach is still orgasming from the joy of the yum.
We settled down to chat and listen to some music and really got to talk alot which was nice, got to learn alot about what makes S tick and the things that have formed who they are, and got to share alot about what makes me tick. Also got mauled by the attention whore cat, hehe.
The conversation comes around to S asking if I'd be interested in playing - not a board game folks, the kinky kind of play. Children and Mum abandon ship now if you haven't already - which is something I had previously expressed interest in. Of course, I forgot that I'd been chatting with S about how I wanted to try piercing play one day and lo and behold, what does S suggest...?
If you guessed peircing play, you win! If you didn't, you fail. Please leave. Heh.
Might I say peircing play... not a bad thing at all. I managed to sit through thirty needles, twenty in my arm - ten going down with one under each of those - and five on each side of the top part of my chest. I probably could have done more, but I tend to start to shake when the adrenaline kicks in and I think S was starting to get concerned. Shaking = not bad at all when it comes to me, but it does tend to worry Tops. Of course it didn't help that S kept smacking the pierced spots - hard - while the needles were still inserted. Needless to say, I have quite the aray of bruises. Twas much in the ways of fun. Especially when they started pulling the needles out - eek! I'm a bleeder, doesn't even matter if you do things like that gently and S wasn't being very gentle. Not that I minded. Got a few more whacks which had me completely blissed out. Holy woah. Took me forever to stop shaking and come down from outer space. I was gone, it was magnificent. It's been so long since I played that the needle play was about all I could do in one sitting, but I'm hoping for future play with S.
I think one of my favorite things is that S didn't treat me like I was going to break. Not every top, but a good chunk of them haven't been willing to take me to the edge and back, or they were more interested in sex than in s/m play which, to be honest, does it for me more than sex in alot of ways. I'm not as fragile as I look, and while S cheerfully tells me what a beautiful girl I am, how much they love how femmey I can be, how soft I am, they're also willing to push me, and they know I'm not going to break.
And when someone looks at you, completely clothed, with blood running down your arm and you still feel like the sexiest woman alive... well that's just a feeling that can't be replaced.
Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel.
Monday, January 26, 2009
In Loving Memory
It’s early, quarter to six
And I’m up, oh ungodly hour
But enjoying the peace and quiet
Until a voice shatters the silence
“You’re up, thank god,
Now I have someone to talk to”
I turn, see him and crack a smile
Because we’re on good terms again
These past few years
Have been love and hate
Between two people too much alike
To ever live together
So I’ve been in and out
And he’s been good and bad
But through it all
We’ve been friends
I mocked them for their meeting
Trapped in the digital world
An online relationship
Those never work out
And yet they proved me wrong
As one date turned to two
One month turned to six
And I finally led them down the aisle
He got me through
Those harsh Dad-less years
When I couldn’t bear to see
The one who made me
He stood by my mother
Through the scare of the c word
And the joy of the r word
And he loved her as much as he was able
My E.D. my stonewall
The times we conspired
To bring a smile to her face
To watch her eyes light up
His secret smile when
Mum just wasn’t specific enough
“Jordan don’t move your tent”
Well he didn’t, did he?
I’m too cheerful in the mornings
It’s always driven him nuts
But today he seems to want that
He seems at peace with the world
And because of all these things
I’m still smiling when I say
“Well I was hoping for some peace”
And he smiles back, and laughs
If I’d known it would be the last smile
I would have photographed it
Cherished it, treasured it
I would have done more to remember
If I had only known that morning
What I know today
I would have hugged him
And told him how much I loved him
No matter what.
And I’m up, oh ungodly hour
But enjoying the peace and quiet
Until a voice shatters the silence
“You’re up, thank god,
Now I have someone to talk to”
I turn, see him and crack a smile
Because we’re on good terms again
These past few years
Have been love and hate
Between two people too much alike
To ever live together
So I’ve been in and out
And he’s been good and bad
But through it all
We’ve been friends
I mocked them for their meeting
Trapped in the digital world
An online relationship
Those never work out
And yet they proved me wrong
As one date turned to two
One month turned to six
And I finally led them down the aisle
He got me through
Those harsh Dad-less years
When I couldn’t bear to see
The one who made me
He stood by my mother
Through the scare of the c word
And the joy of the r word
And he loved her as much as he was able
My E.D. my stonewall
The times we conspired
To bring a smile to her face
To watch her eyes light up
His secret smile when
Mum just wasn’t specific enough
“Jordan don’t move your tent”
Well he didn’t, did he?
I’m too cheerful in the mornings
It’s always driven him nuts
But today he seems to want that
He seems at peace with the world
And because of all these things
I’m still smiling when I say
“Well I was hoping for some peace”
And he smiles back, and laughs
If I’d known it would be the last smile
I would have photographed it
Cherished it, treasured it
I would have done more to remember
If I had only known that morning
What I know today
I would have hugged him
And told him how much I loved him
No matter what.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Who am I?
I think we all come to a point where we begin to wonder who we are. Right now I am trying to remember who I am and I'm thinking that I've never really known. I know details but I don't know what the big picture that is "me" is.
I am Kieran, in heart if not in legalities. I am genderqueer and proud of it, a dyke and even more proud. I am friend and ally to the transgendered community.
I am damaged by things that were done to me, out of my control as far as I saw it at the time. I am a submissive with very occasional dominant tendancies, but never a Domme, only a top. I am a porn store clerk and a photographer, but I only get paid for doing one of those things. I am a member of the "monday morning clerk party" (what happens at clerk party, stays at clerk party) and the co-founder of a charity drag show.
I am a drag king named Seamus Again, and a queen named Faye Ramones. I'm a ballet dancer in the past and a belly dancer in the present. I am an avid reader of anything I can get my hands on, a game geek (even if I'm not very good at the games). I am a music nut, I can't listen to enough of it. I am a fan of all things morbid with a tendancy towards thinking they are cute.
I am a transit user only because I can't stand drivers and feel much safer when I'm in one of the biggest vehicles on the road reading a book.
I am a daughter, a sister and a friend.
And yet even with all that, I do not know who I am. I can tell you all the little details but cannot sum it up into one word. I think that this year is the year that I will discover it. I am twenty years old, I have so much time left to learn.
I think it's going to be a good journey.
Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel
I am Kieran, in heart if not in legalities. I am genderqueer and proud of it, a dyke and even more proud. I am friend and ally to the transgendered community.
I am damaged by things that were done to me, out of my control as far as I saw it at the time. I am a submissive with very occasional dominant tendancies, but never a Domme, only a top. I am a porn store clerk and a photographer, but I only get paid for doing one of those things. I am a member of the "monday morning clerk party" (what happens at clerk party, stays at clerk party) and the co-founder of a charity drag show.
I am a drag king named Seamus Again, and a queen named Faye Ramones. I'm a ballet dancer in the past and a belly dancer in the present. I am an avid reader of anything I can get my hands on, a game geek (even if I'm not very good at the games). I am a music nut, I can't listen to enough of it. I am a fan of all things morbid with a tendancy towards thinking they are cute.
I am a transit user only because I can't stand drivers and feel much safer when I'm in one of the biggest vehicles on the road reading a book.
I am a daughter, a sister and a friend.
And yet even with all that, I do not know who I am. I can tell you all the little details but cannot sum it up into one word. I think that this year is the year that I will discover it. I am twenty years old, I have so much time left to learn.
I think it's going to be a good journey.
Love and Kisses,
Andro Angel
Thursday, January 1, 2009
2009 means...
2009 means finishing full time work at my favorite job to date after eight months and going on call. It means starting school in March to pursue my dreams. It means regular doctors appointments for the first time since I was a kid, and blood tests every six months. It means one year of the Kings for A Cause, and charity shows every month. It means the opera in January, Cradle of Filth in February and 21 years old in July. It means drinking in the states, and spending more time with my pretty bald lady.
2009 means forgetting the one that distracts me because I know I can never have them. It means moving on from petty issues and ignoring the fact that my step-dad will never change and no matter what he does, my mum will never leave him. It means creating a new life for myself out of the one I have instead of pretending everything's OK, or imagining things might be different one day. It means learning to love myself so that I can learn to love other people. It means letting go of the past so that I can touch people again, and let them touch me.
2009 means hope.
2009 means forgetting the one that distracts me because I know I can never have them. It means moving on from petty issues and ignoring the fact that my step-dad will never change and no matter what he does, my mum will never leave him. It means creating a new life for myself out of the one I have instead of pretending everything's OK, or imagining things might be different one day. It means learning to love myself so that I can learn to love other people. It means letting go of the past so that I can touch people again, and let them touch me.
2009 means hope.
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